Can I be your Mirror? - Facilitating Reflection

Taking the form of a sounding wall to help release creative energy, gain clarity, develop ideas. 

Despite my interest in psychology, I never was confident that I could be a good therapist. I always felt like I didn't have the tolerance to hear people whining about their issues. I thought I was going to recommend something that would be damaging. More often than not, growing up, I heard more encouraging words towards stupidity, suicide or other shit that I wasn't sure I had the highest capacity to fully encourage positivity.  I think it was rightfully so that instead of counseling, I came to research. Awhhh, that's refreshing to say because I didn't think I would be a researcher either. Didn't think too much of myself, but that's neither here or there.

Or maybe it is here... In not thinking too much of myself, it might explain how I came to this moment of wanting to serve as a mirror to others. Now I can't say that I'll be the most transparent, crystal clear mirror. Of course, it's Tay tinted with a hint of awkward greatness. But I think the practice of thinking so little of myself, has allowed me to amplify other's selves to the benefit of others.

It's also the practice of recognizing self in others that helps me recognize familiar concepts that maybe placed differently and provide insight that is relevant, relatable, and practical. As a result of my complex, diverse experience, I have transformed into a stained glass that is often approached by others for them to see pieces of themselves within me. I welcome individuals to come and match and mismatch and detach pieces of themselves next to pieces of me. For I am one instrument, I use to provoke the change I would like to see. 

Reflection has been a valuable process throughout my development of life, as it has allowed me to take the time to process what I have observed and consumed to understand how it has impacted my stance. Reflection has provided me and others the opportunity to recognize where we are in relations to others and recognize our positionality, within the larger scales of a context.

Outside of self, I want to be a mirror that amplifies specs and blemishes, with hope to understand more of their nature. I want to be a guide as facilitating the analysis of reason, calling forth experiences, beliefs and perceptions. I want to stand with people in their discomfort and transformation as they recognize and move to work beyond their assumptions. The value to identifying misunderstandings is finding the areas of growth that come with the recognition of unfitting assumptions. 

I don't assume that in serving as someone mirror that we will end our moment of reflection on the same page. That won't happen every time. There are some mirrors that end of broken, some mistakenly, some out of frustration, some out of irrelevancy and irritation of unnecessary space it is taken up. At the end of our reflection - the questioning of our experience, rather by journaling, small group conversation, or photo scrapping - the point is to acquire personal understanding. We traverse this journey together to understand the nature of what is true and truth to you. 

Dr. TayTold'ya 's Mirror Lab
is a space to reflect upon experiences of interest to gain a deeper understanding of those experiences to your self and other elements of your liking. May the comment section of this post serve as our designated space to reflect on opportunities youth in transition may be interested in exploring. 

With the intent to recognize the greater impact an experience has had on you, enter into Dr. TayTold'ya Mirror Lab by starting to fill in the following template. Start with guiding sentence then elaborate to your liking.

I'd like to reflect on how ... effected ....

This space for activity may also be used for those who may not understand how one thing has effected another. Feel free to share experiences, and ask questions of the possible effects. I will share the insight I have, which may be limited, or even incorrect, but it will also provide a baseline for cognitive exploration. 

I hope you comment so that I can have the satisfaction of being a partner in thought to you. Thanks.

For organizations interested in a more in-depth face to face, group facilitation for youth in transition, please contact me for me information at ofdevelopmentalservices@gmail.com.

Product of O.F.Developmental Services, LLC.

The Moniker - Dr. TayTold'ya

Dr. TayTold'ya

Why the Nickname?

moniker - a nickname

Yes, I could've just said nickname, but I just like words, Moniker reminds me of monks and I like to act like I concentrate and create odd connections... so yeah.

I have gone by many names in this life time. It seems that at every point of transition I find myself face to face with a new label to stamp the distinction or intention of growth. As I started to share pieces of myself under this new phase of knowledge, I found myself searching for a new moniker, a nickname for this phase. Yeah, I could've been like everyone else and use the name I was born under, but I have an affinity with the informal. Though I've worked hard to earn the credentials to be respected, I don't take myself too serious. I like to talk, tell stories, share knowledge, provoke thoughts, laughs and warm feelings. Having a Ph.D does not guarantee that I'll do any of that, so calling me Dr. Fugerson, ain't the biggest thing to me. Grammar ain't all that big either, but that's neither here or there.

I am a woman of words. Choosing a new label allows me to use some words to my liking. These words aren't to be used all willy nilly though. I have some intent.

[doc-tor Tay-told-ya ]

I like Dr. because I have worked hard to earn this accomplishment and right to be recognized as an individual who is knowledgeable, with the ability to create knowledge and heal.

Tay is probably the first nickname I came to. It's an abbreviation of my real name and concisely represents my core. It seems to embody the great energy I emit.

Told: I wouldn't be the do-er I am without a verb in my title. (I probably would, but I like action). Told, past tense of tell - to communicate information, to decide or determine correctly.

Ya is probably one of the most important parts of the moniker.

So after breaking down, when I bring all these things together Dr. TayTold'ya is the moniker I like for this phase in my life because it empowers me and captures my intent to heal others through sharing of information.

Yea, I have some authority, but I'm still navigating this weird relationship with people respecting what I say. So as a disclaimer, when you hear Told'ya, I don't have my tongue out, saying "nan-nanny boo boo", as it has been heard in other context. But I might be basking in the satisfaction of sharing something I know.

...clearly I just like breaking things down and putting them together.

Another reason for this post (because I still unnecessarily feel like I have to justify myself) is self exploration. I like documenting my journey and reflecting.

Thoughts for you 

What nicknames do you have?

Did someone else give you the name or did you give yourself the name?

How does your nickname(s) influence you?

Do you need a new name? 

If you are interested in exploring the meaning of your name, let me know. I like words and I'm willing to have some conversation about labels and the power that comes with such. 

New Year, Fresh Start, Novel Habits

New Years Resolution - Express to Success

#freewrite

I'm going to be honest with you. I just want to get something out. I need to pour out elements of my spirit to walk a little lighter. I need to paint blank canvases with colors of my perspective to demonstrate authenticity. There is so much for me to plan, so much I am working on, but I am not feeling productive. To overcome the toiling process of aiming for perfection or even completion, I'm just going to share what I have. It's not the most that I have. It's not my best. But it is something and for now, that has to be enough. 

All the developmental milestones that I strived for on this path of achieving success have just about been met. I've obtained my Masters of Education. I have my Doctorate of Philosophy. I graduated from Spelman. Yet, I still feel incomplete. I take the time to be vulnerable, because it is in my vulnerability that I will find my clarity. 

I feel incomplete, because I don't feel like I have enough financial resources to calm my mind, take care of my body, heal my spirit, fit into society and just feel good in general. There are better days than others all the time, but on the larger scale, I feel stuck. At first I understood it, and I leave room for the fact that I need rest and recovery. I've had more time than others get to rest. The ball of life does not stop. Every day, every night I am stimulated by something that urges me to do more. I think I've rested enough in the state that I am. There is more to do so that I can rest in health, productivity, happiness and peace. 

My mind isn't stagnant. My body is constantly moving. I understand the power of being still, but while I am moving, I am going to try to transfer this energy to something positive. Thus, this blog was born. 

I've decided to dedicate sometime to jotting down thoughts related to wellbeing. My personal has always served my professional goals well. I'm taking this time to try something new and creating the space for me to exist.

I am creating this space for me to exist. I need a place to exist without critique. While I am aware that I am writing to share, this is for me. I stand here as myself and welcome others to come as they would like for their benefit. Things will not be perfect. This really is a creative space for elements of my services to emerge and be reworked for later presentation.  This is a blog to share some of these many thoughts I have. I'll do better one day, but today I just want to do.

The beginning of the journey is this first step.  It feels more like a crawl after the strain I've taken myself through in the name of development, but we will talk more about that later. I'm still shaking off the growing pains of greatness.

I don't know much, but what I do know I will share. I know that sharing something will be better than having nothing.

This is the introductory post. Right now, I'm just trying to get 2 post a month down. Next steps, I hope to elaborate on this theme of Express to Success. I'll share how I've learn the importance of expression through the journey of trying to suppress myself. Hopefully, others will be able to relate and gain something from what I share. Hopefully, pouring enough of this gunk out of my mind will get me closer to what to the content and valuable knowledge, and presentation of that knowledge, I'm looking for. 

If you can, share your thoughts with me please. I need the support. I want to engage. And I'm practicing. Practicing communicating, practicing expressing, practicing engaging. Practicing being me, less apologetically. 

Thanks for your time and energy. 

- Dr. TayTold'ya